Margin Notes

What I was Reading:

A middle school novel by Lawrence Hill? Yes, please! Beatrice and Croc Harry is a genuine and creative romp filled with fascinating words, a new land full of adventure, an intriguing and brave protagonist and a talking crocodile, who build a curious and complex relationship out of intellect, wit, and sincerity. “Using playful language and a comic touch, the novel explores themes of identity, the courage to confront injustice, and the possibility that perpetrators of injustice and those who have been harmed might find themselves in a place of healing and respect” (from Lawrence Hill’s website).

Moves I Noticed the Author Making:

• Complex words in a new and complex world: Throughout the novel, Beatrice and Croc Harry share witty banter full of wild new vocabulary words that are wielded almost as weapons used to challenge and outwit. Some words will be new to readers, some are completely made up, and some are related to local/cultural dialect. It looks like this:

Croc Harry exhaled loudly. “Attitudinous brat!”

“How dare you call me attitudinous,” Beatrice said.

“Well, you are!”

“Is that even a word?”

“It’s a word in my books. It means too mouthy for your own good.”

“Well, if I’m attitudinous, it so happens that you smell like an unwashed bear. And you are positively assitudinous.”

“I bathe daily,” Croc Harry said. “And assitudinous is not a word.”

“It is in my books,” Beatrice said.

“So what’s it mean, then?” Croc Harry asked.

“Stubborn like a donkey.”

• Create an authoritative text to make it real: The author gives a specific name to the made-up dictionary that holds many of these creative and complicated words and concepts explored by Bea and Croc Harry, which makes them seem more meaningful. As complex vocabulary is introduced, the words are often defined by one of the characters or by Beatrice’s unique dictionary. Hill names the dictionary in this story “The St. Lawrence Dictionary of Only the Best Words, Real and Concocted.”

Possibilities for Writers

• In March 2022, the New York Times’ Learning Center encouraged teens to compete by creating new words and definitions. Check it out here: 24 New Words Invented by Teenagers – The New York Times (nytimes.com). See what exciting words your writers can come up with. Build a word wall to display what new words students have learned and created.
• Challenge your writers to invent a new dictionary to hold these exciting new words. Create elaborate definitions for words and come up with a creative name for individual dictionaries. You could also make this a collaborative event in the classroom by creating a classroom dictionary of weird and wonderful words.

Cristina Furey is a UNB student who loves sharing words and stories with people of all ages. She believes there is no better feeling than recommending good books to the readers who need them most and always hopes the magic of storytelling will capture attention and foster the joy of reading in all hearts and minds.

What I was reading:

The “What’s the Difference?” and “__________ vs __________” posts from Mental Floss are excellent examples of a unique take on descriptive and explanatory writing. Some recent examples are:

Calzone vs. Stromboli: What’s the Difference?

Em Dash vs. En Dash v., Hyphen: What’s the Difference?

What’s the Difference Between a Sound and a Noise?

What’s the Difference Between Hard and Soft Water?

What Moves I Notice the Writers Making:

As I read these four texts, I can identify many of the qualities of effective description and explanation:

• Explaining how something came to be: “Calzones originated in Naples as a portable alternative to pizza. The name translates to ‘pants leg’ because customers can enjoy the doughy package while walking around rather than sitting down to eat pizza with a knife and fork.”
• Explaining how something works: “Groundwater sourced near porous rocks, for example, will contain more minerals, while water from glaciers has almost none. If your water picks up calcium and magnesium in large amounts en route to your tap, it’s considered hard water.”
• Describing the relationship between the two subjects: “While all noise is sound, not all sound is unwanted noise. It can also be subjective. If you love heavy metal, that’s pleasant sound. If you hate it, it’s noise.”
• Using details supported by research and/or outside sources: “According to Bon Appetit, the biggest factor separating strombolis from calzones is how they’re assembled.”
• Including a classification system: “According to the US Geological Survey, anything below 60 mg/L is soft, up to 120 mg/L is moderately hard, 121 to 180 mg/L is the hard stuff.”
• Incorporating figures or data: “…but if the calcium is over 100 parts per million (ppm), you’re likely to notice something seems a little off.”

I also noticed several craft moves that are not specific to descriptive and explanatory writing:

• Starting with similarities to introduce differences: “Strombolis and calzones are pizzeria staples for a reason—they consist of many of the same ingredients as a pizza and can easily be assembled using dough scraps and leftover toppings.”
• Organizing information with subheadings that group details: “Em Dash vs. En Dash” “En Dash vs. Hyphens”
• Providing a variety of examples: “This includes compound words like old-fashioned and left-handed; longer phrases like merry-go-round and run-of-the-mill; and numbers like twenty-seven and two-thirds.”
• Incorporating a bullet list of examples: “You should opt for a hyphen over a dash in these situations as well:
  • To signal that a word is continued on the next line.
  • To signal that a word is being spelled out, letter by letter.”
• Beginning by connecting with what readers probably already know or believe about the topic: “Few people say, ‘That’s a lovely noise,’ for example, or ‘What’s all that sound?’ If those present as clunky to your ear, you’re halfway toward figuring out the difference between the two words and when to use each.”
• Introducing a topic with a question: “So what exactly is ‘hard’ water, and how does it actually differ from ‘soft’ water? Also, what counts for just plain water?”
• Closing by circling back to previous examples: “If you love heavy metal, that’s pleasant sound. If you hate it, it’s noise.”
• Defining technical or subject-specific vocabulary: “As its name suggests, an em dash is roughly the length of the letter M, while an en dash more closely matches an N. A hyphen is shorter still.”

Possibilities for Writers:

This type of “What’s the Difference Writing” combines elements of explanatory and descriptive writing. It invites students to write about a topic of interest that allows they to share their insider knowledge or to write to satisfy their curiosity about a “What’s the difference?” topic they’ve been wondering about. The __________ vs. __________ structure can be used as a framework for students compare two texts on a similar subject or theme, two perspectives, or two pieces of writing in the same form or by the same author.

What I Was Reading:

In The Women’s National Team Taught Canada How to Be a Soccer Country, Harley Rustad, whose sister played for Canada from 1999-2008, analyzes the impact of the women’s national team on Canadian soccer fandom.

This paragraph is about Canada’s reaction to the team’s gold-medal win at the Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo:

Canada won gold. In soccer. I cried. I watched Sinclair—who was nineteen during that breakout 2002 tournament—celebrate nearly two decades later with an Olympic gold medal. I wasn’t alone. While more than 4.4 million Canadians watched at home on the CBC, no fans were in the stadium that night in Tokyo, that second summer of the COVID-19 pandemic. Some might have seen that victory as anticlimactic: to win gold without a crowd watching and screaming. But, in a way, it was perfect: the exuberance and exaltations of the team weren’t muffled by the screams of a jubilant horde. We screamed at home, we cried at home. They screamed on the field, they cried on the field—and we heard it all.

What Moves I Notice the Author Making:

• The first thing I noticed about this paragraph is that it includes an intentional variety of sentence types and lengths to create interest, rhythm, and flow. For example, the opening three very short sentences are followed by a much longer sentence.
• The writer uses a wide range of punctuation for effect, including the em dash to set off details about captain Christine Sinclair in order to provide background for the reader.
• The pairing of the related sentences beginning with “Some might have seen…” and “But, in a way…” is reinforced by repeating the same technique of using a colon to introduce detail in both sentences.
• Similarly, the repetition of the structure “We screamed at home, we cried at home. They screamed on the field, they cried on the field…” underscores the sense of solidarity between the team and their fans being described.

Possibilities for Writers:

• Notice and name other interesting craft moves in this passage.
• Watch for interesting sentences varieties and structures in texts they are reading.
• Identify other paragraph organization and structure techniques they find in their reading.
• Find places in their reading where the writer uses repetition for effect.
• Revise a draft in their writer’s notebook by incorporating some of the craft moves you notice in this excerpt.
• Use this as a model for experimenting with rhythm and flow in a paragraph.

What I Was Reading:

A Field Guide to the Heart by Georgia Heard and Rebecca Kai Dotlich is a compilation of poems written and collected by two friends discussing their experience during the pandemic through a reflection of life on the topics of love, comfort and hope.

As I was reading, I came across the poem “Flight” by Georgia Heard and was reminded of a video from Jason Reynold’s series “Write. Right. Rite.”  The website describes the series by saying “Reynolds shares his passion for storytelling while discussing topics like creativity, connection, and imagination. At the end of each video, Reynolds shares a prompt that encourages young people to work toward a specific idea.”

Here are the texts:

Tell the Story of Jason’s Tiny Neighborhood

Jason Reynolds, seventh National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature, challenges kids to write about a tiny imagined neighborhood.

What Moves I Noticed:

• The author uses descriptive language such as “oval window” and “snaking green river”
• The author uses generic characters without detail such as “woman”, “man” and “teenage boy”
• The author uses figurative language such as “constellation of ceiling cracks” and “roar of a plane”
• The author uses a dash for punctuation
• There is repetition in the sentence structure in the beginning of the stanzas marked by the commas and locations of the people

Opportunities for Writers:

Read the poem and watch the video.

• Write whatever comes to mind
• Using the structure of the poem, write about what other characters could be doing in the tiny houses
• Use the beginning phrases of the poem but change the description of what they are doing. Try out some of your own figurative language!
• Write about what you imagine when you look at houses you walk by or look down upon in a plane.

What I Was Reading:

Why the USMNT Couldn’t Go Any Further by Eric Betts (Slate, Dec 3, 2022) is an analysis of the US men’s soccer team 3-1 loss to the Netherlands at the World Cup.

This paragraph caught my attention as an example of the way a writer can create flow within a paragraph by using details to narrow and widen the lens:

More importantly, though, the USMNT simply looked drained by the effort it expended to get through its group. While it grinded out its win against Iran, the Netherlands got to coast to victory against Qatar, and the difference showed. Every team wants to make it hard to play through midfield, but this time Adams, Yunus Musah, and Weston McKennie couldn’t summon the energy to brute-force their way through the Dutch marking by outsprinting them or winning the most important duels. Much of the game was played at a slow pace that favored the Netherlands, and the U.S. didn’t have the horsepower to push it and put the Dutch under stress. They finally managed it toward the end of the second half, but that was the only moment when it looked like a comeback from a 2-0 first-half deficit might be possible.

What Moves I Notice the Writer Making:

Breaking this paragraph apart sentence by sentence helped me see how the writer uses each sentence to shift the perspective by widening or narrowing it:

More importantly, though, the USMNT simply looked drained by the effort it expended to get through its group. (Wide lens: introduces the topic of the paragraph very broadly—the team was tired from the game it had played before its match with the Netherlands)

While it grinded out its win against Iran, the Netherlands got to coast to victory against Qatar, and the difference showed. (Narrows the lens: supports the introductory statement with details of the previous game and a comparison with the experience of the Netherlands)

Every team wants to make it hard to play through midfield, but this time Adams, Yunus Musah, and Weston McKennie couldn’t summon the energy to brute-force their way through the Dutch marking by outsprinting them or winning the most important duels. (Zooms in: specific examples of the team’s lack of energy)

Much of the game was played at a slow pace that favored the Netherlands, and the U.S. didn’t have the horsepower to push it and put the Dutch under stress. (Lens widens slightly: an analysis statement of the team’s overall play)

They finally managed it toward the end of the second half, but that was the only moment when it looked like a comeback from a 2-0 first-half deficit might be possible. (Zooms back in: offers a specific non-example but brings it back to the overall point)

Opportunities for Writers:

• Use this as a model for experimenting with perspective and flow in a paragraph.
• Revisit a paragraph in a draft and try using details to shift the perspective.
• Find places in their reading where the writer uses a similar technique.
• Notice and name other paragraph flow techniques they find in their reading.

What I was reading:

Be a Good Ancestor by Leona Prince and Gabrielle Prince; illustrated by Carla Joseph

“Rooted in Indigenous teachings, this stunning picture book encourages readers of all ages to consider the ways in which they live in connection to the world around them and to think deeply about their behaviors.” (Goodreads)

Available on SORA

What Moves I Notice the Author Making:

• On each two page spread, the text follows the same format.
• The first line is always “Be a good Ancestor with ________”
• Each line begins with the word that ended the previous line.
• Each line goes from individual, small actions to large systemic change.
• The illustrations are symbolic of the text. (And completely stunning).

Here is an example from the text:

Be a good Ancestor with your neighbours

Neighbours become friends

Friends become communities

Communities become nations

Nations become allies

Possibilities for Writers:

• Discuss/think about how small things can make a big impact in the world.
• Write poems following the format “Be a good Ancestor with…, _______ become ______…
• Write with the intention of the last word of a line/sentence being the first word of the line/sentence to show connectivity.
• Create illustrations.
• Share poems with another class/grade.

What I was Reading: The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. LeGuin

“In a future world racked by violence and environmental catastrophes, George Orr wakes up one day to discover that his dreams have the ability to alter reality. He seeks help from Dr. William Haber, a psychiatrist who immediately grasps the power George wields. Soon George must preserve reality itself as Dr. Haber becomes adept at manipulating George’s dreams for his own purposes.

The Lathe of Heaven is an eerily prescient novel from award-winning author Ursula K. Le Guin that masterfully addresses the dangers of power and humanity’s self-destructiveness, questioning the nature of reality itself. It is a classic of the science fiction genre.” – https://www.ursulakleguin.com/the-lathe-of-heaven

The novel starts with the following three paragraphs:

Current-borne, wave-flung, tugged hugely by the whole might of ocean, the jellyfish drifts in the tidal abyss. The light shines through it, and the dark enters it. Borne, flung, tugged from anywhere to anywhere, for in the deep sea there is no compass but nearer and farther, higher and lower, the jellyfish hangs and sways; pulses move slight and quick within it, as the vast diurnal pulses beat in the moon-driven sea. Hanging, swaying, pulsing, the most vulnerable and insubstantial creature, it has for its defense the violence and power of the whole ocean, to which it has entrusted its being, its going, and its will.

But here rise the stubborn continents. The shelves of gravel and the cliffs of rock break from water baldly into air, that dry, terrible outer space of radiance and instability, where there is no support for life. And now, now the currents mislead and the waves betray, breaking their endless circle, to leap up in loud foam against rock and air, breaking…

What will the creature made all of sea-drift do on the dry sand of daylight; what will the mind do, each morning, waking?

What Moves I Notice the Author Making:

• The use of metaphor (the jellyfish) to set up the premise of the novel. I have to admit that this was a bit jarring when I read on and realized that the book was about a dystopian future society. However, I kept thinking of the jellyfish as I was reading – so it was a very effective lead.
• The use of hyphens – current-borne, wave-flung (see our conventions inquiry on compound modifiers for more mentor texts to study)
• The vocabulary in these paragraphs could be studied for days. (diurnal, radiance, insubstantial, for example)
• Repetition – the use of borne, flung, tugged in both the first and second sentences. The use of hang, sway, pulse in two sentences as well. And the repetition happens in the sentence immediately following, not later on.
• The first paragraph is describing the jellyfish, the second paragraph is describing the obstacles and the third is questioning if the jellyfish will be able to cope with such change.
• The second sentence in the first paragraph has a semi-colon. It is a wonderful sentence to look at carefully.
• The last paragraph is one sentence, in the form of a question. It includes a semi-colon that joins two sentences.
• The sentence lengths are varied.
• The second paragraph ends with an ellipse.

Possibilities for Writers:

• Try the repetition of the words from one sentence to the next.
• Try using the some of the vocabulary.
• Try writing with semicolons, using the sentences in the first and last paragraphs as mentors.
• Try to vary sentence lengths.
• Try to use ellipses.

What I Was Reading:

I have been slowly reading through One Long River of Song: Notes on Wonder by Brian Doyle. This compilation of some of the best of Doyle’s writing, celebrates the wonder we can find in everyday moments when we stop, look, and listen. I’m trying to read only a few essays at a time and follow Doyle’s lead by using them as an invitation to look for the wonder (and the possibilities for writing) in my own surroundings.

“The Old Typewriter in the Basement” is one of my favorites from this collection. Written as a response to a question about how he became a writer, Doyle celebrates the impact of his father’s writing career on his own.

What Moves I Notice the Writer Making:

• The first thing I notice is that “The Old Typewriter in the Basement” is a mash-up of first-person essay, memoir, and poem.
• Doyle uses repetition as he lists his reasons for becoming a writer by introducing each new idea with “Because.” At first, the responses come quickly, with each new sentence starting with because. As he progresses, elaborating more on each memory, the pattern changes and “Because” appears at the beginning of each new stanza.
• The central focus is the typewriter, but Doyle uses his relationship with it to reveal details about his father: “Because his typewriter was a tall older model that he loved and kept using even when sleek electric typewriters came into vogue and tried to vibrate their way onto his desk.”
• Doyle fills this piece with images such as “you could listen to it like a song,” and “you could see by the pattern of wear which letters he used more than others” that help us imagine the scenes through his childhood eyes and ears.

Possibilities for Writers:

• Use the same structure as a model for your own writing. Begin with a why question and answer it with a list of reasons starting with “Because…”
• Experiment with the technique of repetition to embed a list into another type of writing.
• Use an object as a springboard for describing someone.
• Try combining the elements of more than one form into a single piece of writing.
• Read this text as a writer to notice and name other interesting craft moves and discuss how they impact you as a reader. Try some of them in your own writing.

What I Was Reading:

Many English language Arts teachers are familiar with Mari Andrew’s illustrated memoirs Am I There Yet? and My Inner Sky and all the mentor text and quickwrite possibilities they offer. If you don’t already know, she also publishes a fantastic weekly newsletter called Out of the Blue.

In a recent issue, A day in the life (Or, moments in the life), Andrew explains that she is fascinated by the minutiae of other people’s days: “It astounds me how close I can be with a friend, only to stop dead in my tracks 10 years into our friendship and audibly realize, ‘I have no idea what you eat for lunch every day.’” She shares captured moments across a week to give readers a glimpse into her own life.

What Moves I Notice the Author Making:

These captured “moments in the life” are much tmore han a snapshot of Mari Andrew’s daily and weekly routine. The entries also offer a glimpse in her personality because they include backstory, explanation, and commentary.

For example, from Monday 7am we discover that Mari Andrew was once an intern hospital chaplain and that she is still impacted by that experience.

When I was interning as a hospital chaplain, I learned that hearing is the last sense to go as people are dying. That stuck with me, and I took comfort that people can still hear and understand even as their consciousness has seemingly slipped away.

Using that logic, I assume that hearing is particularly meaningful during our transition times: between sleeping and waking, for example. I try to stimulate my hearing before any other sense in the morning, so I turn on a song immediately. I go between this sweet Spanish prayer to Mother Earth, or the Maha Mantra. I lie in bed while I’m listening and either have some kind of half-awake inspiration journey or fall back asleep.

When she picks up her dry cleaning and does some shopping on Wednesday at 2pm, Andrew reflects on how New York City might lose its well-loved neighborhood business if people continue relying on delivery services.

Pick up dry cleaning and a few things from the bodega. These two establishments are so well-loved in my neighborhood. Both of them are covered in postcards and photos from customers, with sweet words like “We’re moving but we will miss you so much!” Another example of how important our community relationships are, and how much we lose if we head toward a city that runs on delivery.

Overall, Mari Andrew is giving us insight into much more than her typical routine. She is also showing us what her routine reveals about her as a person.

Possibilities for Writers:

• Using Mari Andrew as a mentor, writers can capture a week’s worth of “moments in the life” and include commentary on the action/activity.
• Writers can follow this model for specific reflections such as moments in their reading or writing lives.
• They can incorporate this method of documentation during an individual or group project.
• Reading like writers, students can identify other craft moves and brainstorm addition possibilities for writing inspired by Mari Andrew.

What I Was Reading:

Taylor Jenkins Reid’s latest novel, Carrie Soto is Back, tells the story of retired tennis champion Carrie Soto who decides, while watching a young player tie her record for winning the most Grand Slams, that she will return to the game and reclaim her title.

In this scene, Carrie faces a challenger at the French Open:

Moretti strides onto the court in a white-and-navy-blue tennis dress, waving to the crowd. She blows kisses to the stands. She is sponsored by Nike, so it’s no surprise that she is covered in swooshes from head to toe. When she turns to look at me, she gives me a big smile.

I nod at her.

She starts strong after winning the toss. But I’m stronger.

15-love becomes 15-all. 30-love becomes 30-all. Deuces become ad-ins and then back to deuces and ad-outs.

Three hours in, we are now in the third set. 6-6.

The crowd is cheering. I look up at my father who is sitting elegantly behind a flower box.

It’s now my serve. I need to hold this one and break hers. And then I’m on to the quarterfinals.

I close my eyes. I can do this.

When I open my eyes again, I’m looking directly at Moretti. She hovers over the court. Her hips swaying side to side as she waits for my serve.

I breathe in and serve it straight down the middle. She returns it with a ground stroke to the center. I hit it back, deep into the far-right corner. She runs for it, fast and hard. There’s no way she’s gonna make it.

But then she does. And I can’t return it.

It’s fine. It’s fine. I can feel my knee twinging, but I have plenty more to go.

I look up at my father again in the player’s box. He catches my eye.

I can feel the hum in my bones, the lightness in my belly. I serve it again, this time, just at the line. She dives and misses it.

I hold my game and then begin my assault on her. By the time I get to match point, she’s exactly where I want her. I set her up so she’s on the far side of the court. I return it to her backhand and that’s it. She’s done.

What Moves I Notice the Author Making:

• The way the writer plays with time by speeding up and slowing down the action really stands out to me in this passage.
• After a scene-setting paragraph describing Carrie Soto’s opponent, the rest of the passage is organized into a series of short paragraphs—many are only a single line—that reads like a list.
• The description of the first three hours of the match comprises only a few lines. Short sentences with a pattern of repetition (“15-love becomes 15-all. 30-love becomes 30-all.”) reveal the progression of the play.
• At the third set, with a 6-6 tie, Jenkins Reid slows the action down and builds suspense by including detailed description of the narrator’s thoughts and observations, the serve, and the subsequent rally.
• Jenkin Reid’s use of sentence break in the line “But then she does. And I can’t return it,” intentionally slows the reader’s pace by emphasizing the pause between the two thoughts. Separating one sentence into two is another interesting strategy for controlling the action in a scene. This also seems to be a pivot point in the passage as the details become more compressed and the action accelerates.

Possibilities for Writers:

• Notice and name other interesting craft moves in this passage.
• Watch for interesting pacing strategies in other texts you read.
• Develop a scene and experiment with time by using some of the Taylor Jenkins Reid’s techniques.
• Try organizing ideas into a series of short paragraphs to give your writing a list-like quality that conveys many details in a concise structure.
• Revise a draft in your writer’s notebook by incorporating some of the craft moves you notice in this excerpt.