What I Was Reading:
In a wonderfully fun but hauntingly dark fantasy series, Abercrombie uses a trick throughout the trilogy to give us a unique perspective on one character, an Inquisitor (torturer) named Glokta, one of his primary point-of-view characters throughout the series. Normally adhering to the old principle of ‘show, don’t tell,’ Abercrombie avoids any kind of internal dialogue, letting the characters’ actions speak for themselves, but he makes an exception for Glokta – Glokta can walk and talk like any character, but he is the only one with an internal monologue, signified by italics:
‘Impressive, eh Inquisitor?’ he asked, before dissolving into a fit of coughing.
Not really.… ‘It certainly produces a great deal of smoke,’ he croaked.
What Moves I Notice the Writer Making:
This allows Glokta to speak to himself, but it also allows him (and Abercrombie) to speak directly to the reader. We get a clearer picture of his motives and desires, and it also says a great deal about his character – he is explicitly two-faced. In almost every interaction we see him say one thing but think another. It also speaks to his intellect. Thinking and conspiring are Glokta’s main occupations, and with this running internal monologue Abercrombie can show the reader Glokta doing it in real-time:
The old man squinted across at Glokta. ‘Are you telling this story or am I?’
‘You are.’ And you’re taking your time about it.
Possibilities for Writers:
Think of a time you were speaking with someone but couldn’t tell them what you were really thinking. What was going through your mind? How might you represent that on a page, while writing dialogue?
Find an example of a dialogue where a character had to hide their true motivations. What might they have been thinking during this scene?
Guest writer Matthew Shaw is an education student and a longtime teacher of English as a Second Language and a former archaeologist. He lives in Fredericton, NB with his wife and three-year-old son, and likes reading and spending as much time as possible outdoors with his family. He hates how much time he spends on YouTube every evening.