What I Was Reading
In his recent collection, Excuse Me as I Kiss the Sky (button poetry, 2023), Rudy Francisco has grouped the poems by form, introducing each section with an explanation of the form and a brief description of his experience with it.
The obit poem, made popular by Victoria Chang, “is an ode to something surprising or out of the ordinary) confidence, doubt, appetite, a house, a laptop, a phone) that has died, no longer exists, or has been damaged.” Francisco sees the obit poem as one that “challenges us to understand everything around us as living, breathing things with a beginning and an end.’
My Hoop Dreams
died unexpectedly on April 8th, 2010 at the age of twenty-four.
survived by a pair of gray Kobe 9’s and a Wilson evolution basket-
ball. Sports kept many neighborhood kids out of trouble; my
brother decided to pass that savior down to me. I was taught the
subtle art of shooting a jump shot when I was six years old. Bend
the knees, tuck the elbow, follow through, and snap the wrist. Let
it hang in the air if you’re feeling fancy, yell Jordan on the fadeaway,
smile when the ball goes in and hits nothing but the lowest part of
the net. A ritual I still perform at least twice a week. In my spring,
I made fun of the older men who just played for the cardio and
moved like cold maple syrup. Now, I’m almost winter, and the
waffles are ready. Today I told my body to run faster. My legs acted
like they didn’t hear me.
Craft Moves I Notice the Author Making
- The title “My Hoop Dreams” also serves as the first line of the poem.
- The first sentence uses the traditional language of obituaries.
- The poem then moves to the speaker’s relationship with basketball, beginning more generally before introducing a specific memory that is described in detail.
- The speaker brings us back to the present by informing us that he still plays basketball twice a week. He contrasts his present age and his youth with the metaphor of seasons: his spring and winter.
- He uses word play to expand on this contrast with “like cold syrup” and “the waffles are ready.”
- The final two lines reveal that he hasn’t fully accepted this reality—he still thinks he can tell his body can move faster, but when he did, his legs ignored him.
Possibilities for Writers
- Students can write their own obit poem about something or someone that is no longer in their life (my old sneakers, the house I used to live in, my Grade 2 teacher), or a time period or experience that has come to an end (elementary school, Grade 9, piano lessons).
- Use this form of poetry as a memoir or an ode.
- Notice and name other craft moves in the poem.
- Revise a draft in your writer’s notebook by incorporating some of the craft moves you notice Francisco making.